Not Your Little Princess: How I’m Teaching My Daughter to Navigate Gender Bias with Confidence

Latoya Baldwin
Jul 28
4 min read

Updated: Nov 2

My daughter was seven the first time she corrected a stranger for calling her “little princess.”

We were on vacation, standing in line for lunch, when a friendly older woman bent down to smile at her and said, “Well hello there, little princess!”

Without flinching, my daughter looked her in the eye and said calmly, “I don’t like being called that. It’s not empowering for girls.”

I froze for a second. Then I smiled. Not out of politeness, but out of pride.

She had just said what so many grown women have been conditioned to suppress.

She didn’t giggle to smooth it over. She didn’t shrug and stay silent. She didn’t shrink.

She used her voice.

That moment changed something for me. Because it reminded me that confidence is not just something we model as women. It’s something we pass down or don’t.

And I don’t want her to have to unlearn the same patterns I had to break.

The Moment That Shifted My Parenting

Before that day, I thought I was doing a good job teaching my daughter to be kind, brave, and smart. But I realized I wasn’t being as intentional about teaching her to challenge norms. To recognize bias. To take up space. To advocate for herself early and often, not just when it was easy or expected.

That moment wasn’t just about a pet name.

It was about what happens when we raise girls to be agreeable instead of assertive. It was about how we can disrupt that cycle by raising daughters who question instead of conform.

And it reminded me that confidence is not just a skill. It’s a survival tool.

Why Confidence Is a Survival Skill for Girls

We talk a lot about kindness and empathy when we raise girls, and yes, those are powerful values. But they’re not a substitute for boundaries, voice, and agency.

Girls learn to play small long before they’re women. They learn to avoid making others uncomfortable. To smile when they want to speak up. To say “it’s fine” when it’s not.

And here’s the hard truth. Confidence doesn’t magically appear when they turn 25 or land their first job. It starts with what we teach them now.

When I heard my daughter reject the label of “princess,” she wasn’t just rejecting a word. She was rejecting the idea that her worth should be soft, silent, or ornamental.

She was already building the muscle that too many of us only start developing once we’ve been overlooked too many times.

What We’re Teaching Our Daughters And What We Should Be

So I made a shift. I stopped only praising what she accomplished and started praising how she advocated for herself.

I began using words like assertive, bold, and resilient, not just sweet, helpful, or polite.

I also started noticing how often I unconsciously reinforced outdated norms. Like brushing off discomfort to avoid “making a scene.” Or calling her “baby girl” when she wanted to be seen as strong and independent.

Now, I ask her: “How did that make you feel?” I help her name her emotions, and even more importantly, her instincts. We talk about how to respond when someone crosses a boundary. We role play scenarios she might face at school, in sports, or later at work.

Because confidence is not something we lecture about. It’s something we practice.

Real-Life Tools to Empower Girls to Speak Up

If you’re wondering how to start instilling this kind of confidence in the next generation, here are a few powerful places to begin:

1. Normalize naming bias

Call it what it is. If something feels unfair, stereotypical, or limiting, say so. Your kids are listening, even when you’re not talking to them.

2. Use empowering language early and often

Praise effort, courage, and voice, not just neatness, prettiness, or helpfulness.

3. Tell stories that reflect their power

Representation matters. Share books, shows, and stories where girls are problem-solvers, leaders, and disruptors.

4. Let them witness you advocate for yourself

Your example is their blueprint. When you negotiate, set a boundary, or walk away from something misaligned, you’re teaching them how to do the same.

5. Teach them how to respond

Give them language they can use. “I’d prefer not to be called that.” “That doesn’t feel fair.” “I worked hard on this and I’d like to be acknowledged.” These are tools, not tantrums.

What This Taught Me About My Own Leadership

Watching my daughter challenge bias with clarity and calm taught me something about myself.

It reminded me how many years I spent softening my voice. How long I waited to be noticed, praised, or promoted. How many times I watered myself down in the name of being “easy to work with.”

I’ve worked in corporate rooms where being underestimated was part of the unspoken initiation. I know what it feels like to be the only one in the room, or the youngest, or the one nobody expected to lead.

So when my daughter spoke up for herself, it wasn’t just her moment. It was mine too.

It was a reminder that our daughters don’t need us to be perfect.

They need us to be powerful. To be present. To be walking examples of what self-trust looks like.

The Legacy of Voice

Every time we raise a girl who knows her power, we shift the legacy of what it means to be a woman in this world.

And that’s not just a parenting goal. That’s a leadership move.

Because the next generation is watching us. And I want my daughter to grow up knowing that confidence doesn’t come from waiting for permission. It comes from choosing yourself, even when the room hasn’t caught up yet.

Want More Like This?

If this story moved you, here’s more on motherhood, leadership, and legacy:

Raising a Confident Girl as well?

Start with a story that helps her see her own reflection. Get your copy of Kiara and Her Invisible Crown here.