The Importance of Having Mom Friends

It doesn’t matter if you’re a brand new mommy, raising a teenager, or halfway through building your own army; it doesn’t matter if you’re a single parent, happily married, or co-parenting. Being a mom is HARD and without a proper support system, it can feel like your experiences are singular and you’ve got to find ways to tough it out. You’re a mom, right? That’s what we do!

I’m a single mom and trust me when I say that I have had those days where I feel like the entire weight of the world is on MY shoulders! I have slumped on the couch and thought, “how can one person possibly handle all of this??”

And then I realized… it’s NOT possible.

When we were kids ourselves, and we needed comradery, what did we do? We found like-minded people to connect with and called them our best friends. Now that we’re mothers, we must make effort to do the same. Sure, conversations and hangout sessions might be vastly different than they were years ago – trading Friday nights out on the town to make-your-own pizza night with the kids – but the purpose of having friends remains the same: support.

Girlfriends vs. Mom Friends

Some may argue that your girlfriends CAN be your mom friends, but I’m going to stake the claim that you should keep them separate. Your girlfriends are the ladies that don’t have kids and are largely living their lives the same way that they have since they graduated college.

I’m absolutely not saying that there’s anything wrong with that or passing any judgement! I’d like to make that clear. Everyone’s path is different, and I love, love, love my girlfriends and they’re as cherished as they ever have been.

That being said, motherhood brings the necessity of having friendships with other women that are also moms – women that are going through similar life motions as you and can not only empathize, but truly understand where your head (and body) is at.

Here are some things that I’ve found mom friends to be particularly good at:

Being a cheerleader. No one knows how to kick a butt into gear like a mother! They say that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. I think that whoever said that must have been a man, because there’s no “tough” like motherhood tough. Other moms understand this, and they can lift you up when they see that you’re starting to waver a little bit.

Mom friends have either been there done that, are going through it, or are anticipating the day when it finally happens – whatever “it” may be. This puts them in a unique position to be a great source of motivation for you, and you for them. Together, you can get through anything!

Being a teacher. As a mother, every day is a learning experience. When you surround yourself with other moms, you gain the benefit of being able to learn from each other’s experiences and help each other become better parents, better friends, better partners, and better people. I can’t tell you how many times I have frantically texted one of my mom friends, “SOS is this normal!?” only for them to offer a calming and helpful response that I know I can trust – because they’ve been there.

Listening. When life is driving you crazy and you just need someone to LISTEN, no one knows how to do it like a fellow mama. Not only do mothers have incredible amounts of patience (which I’m thankful for, because I know I can go on tangents!), but I find that they are able to listen in a way that is vastly different from other people in my life.

Mom friends truly understand what you’re going through and can empathize. They understand the chaotic world that is motherhood and, often times, can relate to the way that you’re feeling. Oh, how wonderful it is to know that you’re not alone!

Reserving judgement. There are going to be days when you feel like you’re just not doing it right; days where you feel guilty about the way you reacted to something that your child did or didn’t do, and days where you went to extreme measures to get something done. Perhaps a little white lie just for some alone time? “We’ve all been there!” is the reaction you’ll get from your mom friends – no judgement or shaming.

Laugh off the embarrassing moments and learn from your mistakes. Although mothers have superhuman tendencies, we really are only human, and our mom friends are there to remind us to give ourselves grace throughout the process.

Being flexible. Have you ever felt a sigh of relief when someone cancels plans with you? Welcome to motherhood! Moms already have packed schedules and they’re usually busy doing a million things at once – cancelled plans usually means that they have more time in their day to knock an item off their to-do list or just do nothing!

Mom friends also understand the unpredictability of life. Things could be going well all day long only for your kid to have a meltdown or the babysitter to cancel (possibly causing you to have a meltdown) at the last minute. With moms, as long as everyone is safe, there’s no need to worry.

Come together

I understand that it’s hard for moms to get out there and meet new people, ESPECIALLY during a global pandemic! I have such an amazing tribe of mom friends that have helped me in my first five years of motherhood and hope to find more within this beautiful online community that is growing every day. You know how much I love to give actionable career advice, but at the end of the day, I’m a mommy first! It’s so important to me that other moms can find the support that they need and if I can facilitate even a bit of that, I have reached my goal!

Please comment below this post or on my Instagram page @thelatoyabaldwin with any and all mommy-related stories. Halloween plans, “embarrassing” stories, recent triumphs, whatever! Let’s start building our virtual #momtribe here and now!